The Megaphone : A Debate Blog

Today I want to know about people you really shouldn’t but definitely would… you know what I mean.

This is usually a weird one to talk about cause there are some granted ones which are acceptable, but then someone will come out with a bizarre one like Dawn French, can anyone else see that?… maybe it’s just me that thinks that’s a weird one.

Anyway I have compiled a few of mine…

An acceptable one to start. Despite being old enough to be my mum Carol Vorderman is in there…

Maybe less acceptable this time, but I’ll blame it on my Kurt Cobain obsession and hope that you all forgive me… I present Courtney Love…

I’m not going to try and justify this one, but you definitely would…

Look at those tattoos… she would be filthy.

So… who do you guys choose… but really shouldn’t?

There must be some Philip Schofield or James May fans out there…

Right, today my cultured readers I want to talk about the amazing wonder of modern art.

Do you think modern art really makes you think in ways you hadn’t considered before, or do you think it is a load of old crap and anyone can cut a cow in half as long as they can blag it?

My opinion on this matter is that some modern art is absolutely amazing and thought provoking. I am a big fan of this guy Maurizio Cattelan who is a conceptual artist, he doesn’t do interviews, but has been known to say “anyone can be an artist”.

On the other hand I think some artists, like Damien Hirst is a massively overrated piece of crap. I don’t really want to go into too much detail about my opinions, I want to know what you guys think.

Do you think if you can blag it you could sell a cup of tea in a glass box on the basis that *doing that voice where you pinch your nose* “… tea is so comforting and warm, in this modern age we really need to have something of such great comfort to make life bearable. Therefore I believe without cups of tea human existence would cease to exist due to stress induced takings of one’s life. Tea is the saviour, like a modern day Jesus…”

I just realised this is probably one of my most serious posts ever, so I will end with a joke. So this Essex girl (sorry) is in a car crash and the fireman who rescues her asks “how many fingers have I got up” and she replies “oh my god my fanny’s paralysed”.

Anyway what do y’all think of Modern Art?

Yesterday I read this story about a guy who put a £100 bet on when he was 90 that he would live to be 100, so yesterday he picked up his £25,000 payload… and hopefully didn’t step out in front of a bus on the way home.

So today I have been thinking about what I would bet on.

I always thought about betting on the evictee of Big Brother, because I always know which one of those guys is going out. If you bet like £500 on the one who is definitely going and then enough on the other guy (with higher odds) to win your say £510 back… you can’t lose surely? or is that a rookie error?

If you bet enough money on something like the fact you’re going to live until the end of the week every week for the rest of your life you’d be loaded… and that one week you don’t survive… you’ve not lost anything.

What would you bet on? Do you think betting is a losers game… or would you maybe throw all of your money betting on something ridiculous like Colwyn Bay FC getting promoted?

In life there are two things which will make you go far… brains and looks. People like Bill Gates have an overdose of the brains and an under-dose of the looks, where people like Jordan who make my blood boil with anger has somehow used her orange skin, whore-like poses and two space-hoppers stuck to a wall breasts (which some people bizarrely will pay to see!) to earn a cushty life, even though she couldn’t string a coherent sentence together if someone was telling her what to say.

Today I want to know if you had to choose… would you be incredibly intelligent and butt ugly, or would you prefer to be really attractive and a complete moron?

I would also just like to mention that my beautiful girlfriend Sarah is doing the Race for life. Which is a 5km (3.11mile) run… or walk, to raise money for Cancer Research UK to continue their efforts in finding treatments and cures for cancer which apparently affects 1 in 3 of us so it is a really good cause.

I know most of you guys are not rolling in it, but if you can afford 50p or a pound it would be much appreciated, consider it your one good deed of the year. You can sponsor her by Clicking Here. Thank you.

First off let me apologise for the lack of postage this week. That doesn’t mean I haven’t been working on the blog, the new theme I have been working on for what seems like forever now is almost complete. The comments are currently very default… but enough of this geekery and onto business.

Today I have been mostly thinking about the size zero.

There is much debate in the fashion world at the moment regarding this matter, with some designers carrying on regardless and others banning size zero, but using… I dunno, size one or something cause they still look uber thin to me.

So who is responsible for constructing this image of size zero being the most attractive thing since sliced brad? It’s a bit of a chicken and the egg thing, did the skinny women come around first and then the magazines told us this is what you should find attractive, or did women see skinny women and want to be like them by any means… don’t look at me, I don’t know any of the answers… I’m not a magic 8 ball.

I have to say I do find the Kate Moss…

Sienna Miller…

Lily Cole…

…Sarah types of this world incredibly sexy. As a designer I know it is important your work is shown exactly as you want it to be seen, so therefore if designers want to use size zero I think that is their choice.

What do you think. Should designers be allowed to use whichever models they want? Or should they be forced to use models nearer your average woman who walks down the street?

Also, do you think these models types are hot or not?

These days swearing is not that big of a deal. It’s rare that you can walk down the street without hearing someone going off on a tourettes-like rant about something as inoffensive as Lorraine Kelly.

So I’m pretty sure most of you, like me don’t mind unleashing the odd profanity here and there. But is it ok for kids to swear? I personally avoid swearing in front of young kids and grandparents… I can’t imagine the guilt I would feel if a friend’s child started saying “shit face” as a direct result of me calling said child a “shit face”, so I avoid it.

When I was a young child I don’t know how strict my parents were if I swore, but I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t have been that bothered. My girlfriends mum let her swear whenever she wanted “as long as she did it creatively and not for the sake of swearing”.

So is it ok for young kids to say whatever they want…. or is it wrong on many levels?

It feels like it is almost that time of year again where that evil show takes over the 8am to 6am tv schedule of Channel 4 for a few months… why would we want to watch them sleep? Yes you know I’m talking about the Big Brother yo. I am pretty sure the auditioning process is now over and the show will soon be invading our tv’s and our brains, did anyone reading this go and audition? If you did I really want to know about the audition process, how exactly do they filter people out to end up with such “wacky” people “wot aint afraid of confrontation”?

As much as I would love millions of people to watch me pick my nose, scratch my ass, fart and be naked, I feel as though I am lacking in the “wacky” and “confrontational” (not the naked) departments… dang. I think it’s amazing that a complete moron like Jade can make millions from the show because of our z-list celebrity obsession, but I just couldn’t ever do it. I hate the show, but I watch every episode… what’s wrong with me?

So, today I need to know… Has it always been your dream to be a Big Brother contestant? Or is it your worst nightmare?

And today’s bonus question if you were to appear on that show… what is the worst story the press would dig up on you? Would those naked pictures your ex took of you surface on page 3 of the red top tabloids? Or would that time you tripped while doing the hoovering and your trousers and pants fell down and then your dinkle somehow got sucked into the nozzle make the front cover… with pictures?

A few drunken weekends ago I found myself perilously at the mercy of a tattoo wearing taxi driver who couldn’t have driven any more dangerously if he were blindfolded and tied up in the back seat. This fact however is not the awkward situation I wish to force into your brains.

On this particular 3am taxi journey the driver did not feel the urge to make small talk with me about the weather or about that one time he had to give Jimmy Saville a lift to the airport. Oh no, within two minutes of me entering the taxi he felt like going off on a racist rant I shall not repeat. I couldn’t believe it. I am about as far left-wing as you can be without handcuffing yourself to the top a tree while a muscular man with a small penis and a large chainsaw tries to cut it down… and I look it.

I would never humour him and say “yeah I know what you mean”, but I didn’t feel like I could say “shut up you ignorant bastard” as much as I wanted to. So I just sat there feeling really uncomfortable for what seemed like forever when he shut up and I quickly changed the subject.

Has this ever happened to you? What is the most uncomfortable thing anyone has said to you? What is the most uncomfortable situation you have been in? Maybe it was a really bad first date or that cult gathering you attended thinking it was a house party.

Let me know with a comment or I will drive this blog into a lamp-post…

p.s. could someone let me know the simplest bit of php to get your post text as I am phping useless, thank you please.

I love the idea of winning the lottery… all that money with absolutely no work is amazing. However knowing the odds are 14 million to 1 I never play.

If I did play… and win like £30 million I don’t think I would spend it on loads of material possessions. I would obviously buy a new car as my car, Mariah is the biggest diva in the world and only works when it is exactly 21 degrees outside and it’s surroundings are painted egg shell white and there are no blue M&M’s in sight. I would also buy a house (not a mansion) for me and my gorgeous gf and pay my parents and her parents mortgages, but apart from that I don’t think I’d buy many material possessions. I would however disappear on holiday for about 8 years visiting every village on planet earth.

I would love to go into a casino and put it all on either red or black haha that would be amazing… I would probably pass out and wet my pants (or worse) before reaching the table though. I am kidding that would be a stupid thing to do… I wouldn’t wet my pants.

What would you do if you won the lottery?

Holla back girl… whatever that means.

p.s. I just found out that you can do php in dreamweaver so look out for my theme changing every time you blink… that is all.
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First of all I just wanted to let you know about some funny google hits my site has had. If you google Fearne Cotton’s Nipples I am right up there on page 1 (I’m pretty sure this search was conducted by Rhys). Also when you search for fizz corrie shag I am number one… the traffic for that search is going to be immense. Google must think my site is pure filth, and think of how disappointed people must be when they find my site… I might put a picture of my nipples up to make up for it.

So I know a lot of my beautiful readers are fellow bloggers so I want to know about weird ways people have found your site.

Or on the flip side if you were looking for something very innocent like say an “animal farm” and you found something very disturbing indeed.

Let me know with a comment…
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